Light High

Oct 29

I just did so many rituals, some of which I haven’t done in many many months. I have my core favorites that I do daily, some weekly, some monthly. Today, I don’t know, I just wanted to do them all, or at least like 80% of the ones I have handed down to me.

I feel so blissed out right now. I feel so centered, grounded, and completely in peace, and light and airy and flowy, and on fire. All 5 elements just singing within me.

I have some large decisions coming up now, not soon, now, I honestly feel stuck between decisions. I heard a Carl Jung quote that went something like: if you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, wait patiently for a 3rd option to present itself. I have no idea what the rest of that thought is, or the context, but I decided to try that approach. It’s not working yet haha.

I think that if I sit here and journal in this High on Light or Light Drunk, state, I might be able to see more clearly my options and path before me.

Once again I must ask myself:

What do I want my life to look like?

What do I want to DO with my life?

If all obstacles where instantly removed, what would I do next?

My 4 wants (Empower Thyself reference) right now, in this time of my life are:
1. Create beauty,
2. Service (which means to help people remember they are divine eternal beings),
3. Financial abundance,
4. Exploration. (Exploration can be boiled down to Living Life Alive or experiencing creation.)

When I look at my life 5 years down the road, I have a thriving art/photography studio. I’ve written a book that’s been published or at least in the process of. I have a thriving healing center and between the art and the book and healing center, I’m financially abundant on my own, and I have a good husband, who is a man of God (not from a religious context). We are building a beautiful life together, in service, and exploring the world.

What is my next step to get there?

I must move out of this apartment soon.

Where do I move to?

Stay in AZ for a while longer? Although I just know this isn’t a permanent home.

Move back nearer my boys, who are grown. Nearer family.

To a location that I’ve experienced already, that is also much harder in so many ways to live, but the fruit of which can be the higher too.

To some 3rd location I haven’t even thought of?

I visit my kids in early Nov. I’ll see the PNW. I feel her again. I’ll see my family. I’ll travel. I’ll experience cold and wet for the first time in over a year. I’ll get some clarity.

The PNW feels like a mother energy, I feel her calling me home. “It’s time.” I keep hearing.

There are a few big reasons why I don’t want that, but a lot of that is fear. Fear that I’ll regress into old patterns. Fear that I won’t be accepted as I am now. That my lack of conformity to popular disempowering mindsets will cause problems. Fear that I’m making a mistake. Staying here also feels like a mistake.

Then again, the winter in AZ is amazing. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing the winter is here. Maybe I’ll move later this year haha.

Time to fix this hair of mine, and pick up my pottery I made a few weeks ago, and do all the mundane necessities of life on my two, TWO, days off!

Still Light High as a kite and loving it.

You don’t need drugs and such to feel this peaceful even in the midst of chaos.

You need LIGHT! You need God (again, not from a dogmatic context)

It’s amazing.