I am Light and so are you.
The Light is ME.
I am the power.
This lineage, that I love, dies without the people in it doing the work, which means the lineage is the tool, the path, but the power and Light comes from the people walking it.
Me and my wonderful Guide, Kelly Aho. I love her forever and always.
These tools, this path allow us to serve on much higher levels, but we are the Light behind it.
When I left PID (Professional Integration Day, aka recertification) a few days ago I expected to feel more empowered, stronger, different. I had spent a year uncertified and therefore not serving. I expected something to shift or light up. Something.
I felt the same. Which left me feeling confused, almost disappointed, kind of sad.
I spent the last year focused on one goal: get to PID. I did it. Mission accomplished. Why do I not feel the power of that? I wondered.
I felt gratitude. I felt proud of myself. I acknowledged what I overcame to make that happen, what I healed, what I learned, but still there was a power or a renewed energy I was missing that I had expected to feel.
The last few days I’ve been wanting to write about going to PID, about opening my business again, about what I offer, about how wonderful this lineage is and NOTHING was coming to me. I felt happy and grateful and excited, but also… just so… blank. A bit lost.
Confused but patient with the process, I spent the day distracting myself with binging tv shows I’ve already seen, listening to audio books I’ve already listened to… twice. I have felt ravenous all day and ate a lot of yummy food. I’ve been unpacking my suitcase, doing laundry, setting up my alter again. I went to Zumba, grocery shopping. Had a lovely chat with the cute man with a kind smile who works at Trader Joes. Just let myself veg out for the day.
Eventually I started working on my website. On graphics for stickers I can put on my water bottle and my laptop and on a wheel cover for my Jeep all with a qr code to my website and some encouraging words. Still felt no direction. Uninspired. None of it got done.
Suddenly hours had passed and I got hungry. In the kitchen I had no audio book, no phone, no laptop, no tv to distract me. Just me, the food I was cooking, and my thoughts, and it all came flooding in. Rather quickly. I was finally ready to listen.
I realized that I was still looking for power and validation in things outside of myself. I don’t feel different after this PID because I was thriving before PID, because of me and the work I’ve been doing, and I’m thriving after PID because of me and the work I’ve been doing. The power wasn’t sitting at PID waiting for me to come pick it up, it was with me all along. All year. PID isn’t to validate my worth, it isn’t to give me power, it’s not there to define me. It’s to make sure I know the protocol and can hold the energy, and I can. Well.
I can because, I’m the power. I’m the Light.
The moment I made this realization it was like an blaze had been lit inside me. That zing, that bolt of energy, that power I was expecting to find at PID ignited inside me at that very moment.
This lineage gives me amazing tools that help me help myself and others. Tools that work wonderfully, but they are tools. I am the Light. I am the empowerment. I am.
This lineage provides a path, support, mentorship, structure, lots of extra Light to help us grow, but it’s all nothing without the people doing the work. Each initiate, each practitioner, each guide, each Ipsissimis, etc. are all the Light.
I spent the last year so focused on getting back to PID I didn’t really serve in the ways I have inside of me. Not consistently. Not nearly enough. Here and there, but I still thought I was not much use without the tools. Even though I was aware I had been building my self worth on being an LAP, on being a healer, teacher, RM and stopped doing that. However, my understanding of my own ability to affect change was still wrapped up in those titles. I’m not just worthy and enough on my own without these titles, I am also powerful, empowered, and capable with and without them as well.
Please don’t get it twisted. These modalities, initiations, and classes, this lineage are how I got this far this quickly. They have, and are still, helping me heal myself, and I highly recommend them and will continue to progress on this path for as long as I possibly can. They are helping me to remember just who and what I am, which is an eternal divine being, fully worthy, enough, AND powerful in my own right. It would have taken me decades, if ever, to remember the tiny bit that I’ve remembered at this point, so they are so worth the time and energy.
This path saved my life. I’ve watched it save the lives of others. I’ve heard the stories upon stories of the lives it’s saved. When I say I am the Light, I am the power, it’s not to diminish this lineage that I love, it’s to recommend it, for without it I would still be lost in the darkness.
Last year when I started to realize I might not make it to PID I felt gutted. Like the world was ending. When I finally had to concede that it wasn’t happening it was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. I was devastated. I felt like a failure. Like my identity had been stripped from me. I was in free fall.
Over the next couple of months I came to the realization that I had built my self worth on the foundation of all the titles after my name: Jennifer Miller, Life Activation Practitioner, Healer, Teacher, Ritual Master. And when I couldn’t get recertified to continue doing all of that, my foundation crumbled to the ground. I’ve spent the last year rebuilding on the foundation that I am a divine eternal being and nothing else.
When we build our self worth on things outside of ourselves, our relation to other people, our job titles, what we do for fun, our hobbies, what we look like, what we’re good at, our diagnoses, our accomplishments, etc. all things that can be removed from us in various ways, we are left with nothing. These are all fine and wonderful things, but they are not who we truly are.
Self worth, self love, your core identity comes from a much deeper, much more eternal and sacred place, and is unshakeable regardless of what happens in our lives. This path helps you remember just that. So, yes, I am the Light, and the tools of this lineage are helping me figure all that out.
As said Life Activation Practitioner, healer, teacher, and Rm, my one and only job is to help others remember who they truly are so they can live life alive, empowered, living their purpose, and creating a better world for everyone.
You are the Light. You are the power.
You are an eternal divine being.
Everyone is.
Experiencing and sharing joy is why we are on this earth and the more you do the more you help make this world a better place.
Find your joy, share it with others.
I can help you do that.
It all begins with a Life Activation.
